Plus one...

Funny Roundup -- Sick Day 4/27/2009

Plants are human too, you know... wait....


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Kinky....


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You mean water, like from a toilet?


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I have no idea what this says, but this is funny....


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Ah... nature humor...


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Yup... cats and nature don't go together....


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Not all cats are cute....


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Yes, cats are always plotting murder. Remember that.


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Whole new meaning to sleeping with the fishes....


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No comment needed.


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Dedicated to Blind Dog... (now I've got that song in my head!!!)


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Ah... The Who....


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Tax Humor!!!


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Follow Up

Okay, so I'm lying in my bathtub pondering... like I do. And it occurs to me... what is "traditional marriage" anyway? For most of the last several hundred years, marriage involved the wife becoming the property of the husband. She had no rights in the marriage. If the husband predeceased his wife, she became the property of the eldest son. She could not inherit property. She went from being the property of one man to another until all the men were dead and she became destitute. Marriage was a method of transferring ownership of women from one man to another. It was controlled by the church, but until recent centuries the church was the state.

Today, marriage is different, in some places anyway (don't get me started on Sharia). A few decades ago, women came to the realization that they were human beings and started demanding rights. Now, they can inherit property. They are not married off at the earliest possible breeding age to the highest bidder - they can select their own breeding stock, or choose not to breed at all. They can decide to walk away from a marriage. Marriage is now more than a transfer of ownership of a woman from her father to another man - it is essentially a business partnership; an agreement between two people to become one legal entity in exchange for certain benefits from the state. These benefits include, but are not limited to: joint health care coverage, tax benefits, inheritance rights, joint ownership of assets, visitation rights, etc. And since church and state are separate entities, this contract does not need to be ratified by the church. A church may perform its own ceremony, and that ceremony does not need to be ratified by the state. The contracts are already, for all intents and purposes, two separate things.

Because we are already far removed from what the "traditional" notion of marriage has been for all of these thousands of years, it seems illogical, if not downright contradictory, to try to hold on to the only tiny shred of definition that "traditional" marriage may still hold at this stage. The only reason to do so is to withhold rights from people whose lifestyles you do not agree with. Now, you may do that in your church ceremonies, but the Equal Protection Clause of the US Constitution does not allow the state to do that in the framework of our laws. If a contract is offered to two consenting adults that gives them benefits, and the only reason to deny those benefits is your belief system, that is discrimination.

We have already thrown off the shackles of all of the other ridiculous notions associated with "traditional" marriage - arranged marriages, dowries, marrying off thirteen year-olds, forced submission of women, racial purity... why hang on to this last atrocity?

Good night and good luck.

Manifesto: Gay Marriage

My Manifesto

I do not subscribe to any particular doctrine, religion, political party, or other organized collection of viewpoints. I have views on a variety of subjects that I have come to believe based on my own experiences. These views are subject to change based on new experiences, research, or information. I tend to be called “progressive” or “liberal” based on many of these views, but hey… labels are just ways to pigeonhole people. I will post these views as I have time in case anyone gives a rat’s patootie.

Marriage: there are two different kinds of marriage. One is what happens in the church, and the church decides who it will marry. The Catholic church has rules about non-Catholics and divorcees, for example. No church should be required to relax those rules to accommodate people that do not conform to their beliefs. No church should be required to change their teachings to condone behavior that they believe is immoral. You can do whatever you want in your church, that’s the beauty of the separation of church and state; the state cannot govern the church.

The other is the legal contract granted by the state, and the state (which is governed by the Constitution) has an obligation to provide equal protection to all. Equal protection means that if a two-person contract granting property sharing rights can be given to a man and a woman, that two-person contract should be granted to two men or to two women. The rules currently provide for two consenting adults, and you cannot discriminate on gender or sexual preference. You also cannot discriminate based on one group’s view of morality, even if that group is the majority. That’s the other beauty of the separation of church and state; the church cannot govern the state.

From another purely constitutional perspective, once one state permitted equal marriage, a whole can of Constitutional worms was opened. We have a whole slew of federal and state issues as long as the laws vary from state to state, and marriages performed in one state are considered invalid in another. From a purely practical perspective, it is time to standardize the laws and accept the inevitable.

From a personal perspective, I have never seen a logical or reasonable argument that allowing homosexuals the right to marry would present a material risk to society. Every study that I have ever seen that argued that children were better off with one male and one female parent always included single parents in the study. The only individual cases I have ever seen where children were “harmed” in gay relationships were when one parent were carried off into an ultra-religious fervor and convinced that homosexuality was some horrible sin. I know a lot of people that were raised by one or more gay parents (including myself), and we are no more screwed up than those raised by straight people. We may be a little more tolerant in some cases, but that goes with the territory. Gay people are just as capable of long-term, committed, and loving relationships as everyone else, despite the stereotypes. They are often just as religious, once they find a community that doesn’t tell them that they’re going straight to hell, and often very moral.

Some people will say that marriage was meant to be one man and one woman. They’ll say that’s what is in the Bible, or that’s “Traditional Marriage.” I say look around the world at ALL of the traditions, not just the modern Judeo-Christian ethics of the last 3000 or so years. Our country was founded on the concepts of equality, freedom, and justice for all, even if we have never gotten around to practicing it. You may believe that your God wants your “traditional marriage” but I believe that the Jesus portrayed in the Bible would preach tolerance and love. He also knew the separation between the state and the church (remember that whole “render unto Caesar” bit?) I also believe that if God is really all-powerful, allowing people the right to enjoy the same freedom and happiness that you have is not going to hurt him in any way. Do you really, really believe it’s going to hurt you?

If so, tell me how at mutantkat@yahoo.com. Only through logical and reasonable discourse can we ever get through the hateful rhetoric on both sides and reach a consensus that will resolve this issue once and for all.

April 16, Post-Teabag Funnies

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Teabagasms for Everyone

So, tax day came and went. Celebrations in the form of teabag parties were held across the country. Chad, wherever he is, was smiling down upon the idiots and doing obscene things to them with his ghostly apparition genitalia.

Will make a concerted effort to get news, comics, and the fun and excitement of the world up and going again here. I've been busy sleeping, working, and Twittering my life away.

Just realized that there is now a Monetize tab on Blogger. Oh, the humanity.

AMEN!!!!!!

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Mini-Roundup

Dude, lighten up. Gay elephants have feelings too. I would make a really bad joke about Congressional Republicans here, but I’ll let it go. http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090410/od_nm/us_elephant_1

Okay, people, seriously. Get the ninjas. Duh!!! http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7994980.stm

Would YOU trust this woman to teach your children about Jesus? Yeah, me neither…. http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/04/11/california.girl.arrest/index.html

Hehehehe. Funny. http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1890174,00.html

The Truth

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Latest News Roundup

Apparently, English being such an incredibly stupid and complicated language and the fucked up economy were likely factors in yesterday’s mass lunatic shooting binge in New York. Because, you know, people haven’t been struggling with the English language for centuries. And only immigrants are getting laid off. I loved Karen’s reaction to this. “It’s too easy for people to get guns in this country. Everyone can get guns. I mean we have a gun, but we don’t have any bullets.” (Only imagine that with a Chinese accent.) Yeah. http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090404/ts_nm/us_newyork_shooting_13

If you haven’t checked it out yet, this site is just disturbing. But in a fun way. http://pictureisunrelated.com/

OW! http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/2009/04/03/20090403ODDnail-cough0403-ON.html

Okay, all you ultra right-wing media nut jobs, would you QUIT lying about how the Obama administration is going to take away everyone’s guns now? People are DYING out there because of your paranoia, idiocy, and deceit!!!! http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30043893

Wow, someone has finally figured out that America’s salvation will not come through Christianity alone. And Christianity’s salvation will not come through the Republican party alone. Maybe we can all act like grownups now and try to get something accomplished, regardless of political or religious affiliation? http://www.newsweek.com/id/192583

What do we really know? What if what we think we know is wrong? http://www.newsweek.com/id/192465

Cheezburger Network Roundup for April 4

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Yesterday's News, Because I'm Slow Like That

So I was working on this when I had to go have dinner with Nicole and hang with the girls, and then I came home and passed out... so here's this. Today's to follow later.

Madonna gets a news flash: we already have one Angelina Jolie, we don’t need another one. Ah, life after A-Rod loses its luster. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090403/ap_en_ce/af_malawi_madonna_adoption_22

New Rules for the NFL: no matter how good of a player you are, you shoot yourself in the leg, that’s a firing. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090403/ap_on_sp_fo_ne/fbn_giants_burress_8

And THAT’S what you get for trading my grandmother’s favorite Chauncey Billups. She still hasn’t recovered from that, and then she went blind. And now the Pistons don’t even have Iverson. Bastridges. http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/news?slug=ap-pistons-iversonout&prov=ap&type=lgns

Why Obama is wrong about Afghanistan, from a liberal. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ucru/20090402/cm_ucru/afghandeathtrip

Hooray Iowa!!! Iowa is the new California. http://www.newsweek.com/id/192269

The Evening News

Initial nominee for Shower Nozzle of the Month for March: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1166135/Neighbour-hell-blew-home-minutes-eviction.html But he’s dead now.

Unemployment Olympics – Hey, at least you’re your sense of humor in hard times. http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/O/ODD_UNEMPLOYMENT_OLYMPICS?SITE=WBBMAM&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

Okay, not to sound like a ultra-traditional conservative hard-ass or anything, but this is just the most new-age namby-pamby thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Hello, you’re PARENTS!!! Parent, already! http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20090331.wlconsensual31art1835/BNStory/lifeFamily/home

Ding Dong the Witch is Dead? Oh please oh please oh please oh please. No self-respecting Republican could possibly think that she is good for the party. No self-respecting woman could possibly think that she is good for the future of women in politics. She’s worth nothing to nobody except for the liberal media and fundraisers who get to use her idiocy to their advantage. DUH!!! http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/03/31/republicans-disinvite-palin-major-fundraiser/

At least Paul Krugman knows that he’s doomed now that he’s graced the cover of Newsweek. http://krugman.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/03/28/the-magazine-cover-effect/

Complete with GREAT illustration of trickle-down economics. http://www.progressivepuppy.com/the_progressive_puppy/2009/03/anti-labor-joe---the-new-union-basher.html

Month End Comic Roundup

Today's Fail Blog

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Funnies 3/27/2009

News of the World for Thursday

I'm not venturing into the blogosphere today, work has been a crazy, silly day. But here is what I have managed to venture into so far, when not fighting rival gangs in Mafia Wars :-)

Methinks that Ted is a little, um, unhappy? Don’t ask me what gives me that idea…. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ucru/20090326/cm_ucru/whywehatethem

Oh my…. http://www.gocomics.com/features/111/feature_items/418394

Okay, serious ego issues here. Serial Shooter compares thinks he’s going to be as infamous as Charles Manson. Don’t think you’re going to get your own Goth/Industrial Metal band, dude. Also didn’t have a family of murderous lunatics. Or victims on the fame scale of Sharon Tate. Or links to the Beach Boys. Or that whole swastika tattooed into your forehead thing. All in all, I think we’re just looking at your typical dumbass serial killer, as opposed to the complete psychopath cultural phenomenon serial killer. Minimal income book deal. http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2009/03/26/20090326hausner0326-ON.html

All together now… “INFRASTRUCTURE!!!” Somewhere, Rachel Maddow just got all tingly. http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2009/03/26/20090326midwest-flooding0326-ON.html

Power to them if it continues to work out. If only all people could be as adult about life, if for no other reason than for the kids. http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/03/26/couple.lives.with.ex/index.html

Health care, everyone’s favorite topic. One of the main reasons we need reform – our businesses (primarily, the small ones) can’t afford to keep this crap up much longer. http://www.newsweek.com/id/190884

Peace out, y'all.



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Comics Roundup 3/26/2009

I feel for Satchel, I really do....




And I never really thought Obama's wit was THAT dry... my first semester Chemistry prof in college was way drier....



No animals were harmed in the making of this hamburger


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AW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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Okay, I've Sold Out...

I did it, I gave in, I'm on Twitter. I swore I'd never do it, but I did it.

In my defense, I got an email yesterday or day before from Eddie Izzard's site saying that he was on Twitter. And I totally heart Eddie. And there was that whole Trent vs. Chris Cornell mini-Twitter war few days back. And I was on very powerful but largely ineffective sleep meds and Pinot Grigio at the time.

Anywho, you can look me up if you are so inclined. No surprise to anyone who knows me, my handle is mutantkat.

I'm not 100% sold on the whole thing yet, but we'll see....

Cheezburger Network Roundup

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Okay, really, i'm done....

Paul Krugman on why the bank plan is a bad idea. Nobel Prize in economics, and so far he’s been pretty much right on nearly everything for, oh, as long as I’ve been paying attention to him. Geithner? Um, he worked for the Fed during the AIG bailout. Obama, I can understand the political need to “Stand By Your Man” but now ain’t necessarily the time for country music. http://krugman.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/03/21/more-on-the-bank-plan/#more-1689

And Krugman isn’t the only one. More wonkish but still not a fan. http://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2009/03/private-public-partnership-details.html

I’m highly disappointed in The Washington Note. Steve Clemons, the head honcho, is a great writer and thinker, and even when I disagree with his opinions, his arguments are always well constructed. (He looks good on TV, too!) Whoever this guy is, however, I don’t like his show. Trying to lecture us about the underlying politics of Turkish/Armenian relations without giving any part of the story except why Turkey is our friend is insulting, not to mention an entirely new definition of the term “underlying politics” than I was previously aware of. The United States is one of only a small group of countries in the world that refuses to officially recognize the Armenian Genocide, and it’s because we don’t want to offend our Turkish allies. The FBI has found cases of Turkish corporations bribing US government officials to keep this legislation from passing. Pro-Armenian Turks are still routinely arrested and killed in Turkey. The refusal of the world to take what happened in 1915 seriously helped lead to Hitler’s belief that no one would care if he exterminated the Jews, and our continued failure to address genocides as they occur throughout the world continue to feed that belief. Does anyone seriously believe that al-Bashir will be truly held accountable for the situation in Darfur? Does anyone truly believe that Bush and Cheney will be held accountable for their actions? How many were dragged before the Hague for Rwanda? Or from the Khmer Rouge? How many died in the gulags? The point is not whether Turkey and Armenia need this distraction as they try to normalize relations. The point is that the United States should have had the collective cajones to call this out for what it was a long time ago. And until we, the people of the world, grow enough conscience to stand up and say that this kind of atrocity will not stand, people will continue to slaughter each other with hatred in their hearts and no fear of reproach or repercussion. If Turkey cannot look into the past and say that once upon a time mistakes were made but they will not happen again, how can they look to their future and say that they will not happen again? Why are we afraid to ask that of them? Are we afraid that they may ask us to do the same? http://www.thewashingtonnote.com/archives/2009/03/the_los_angeles/

How progressive are you? Take this quiz and find out! If it wasn’t for those darn social issues… I’m a 240 out of 400, making me a progressive. http://www.americanprogress.org/issues/2009/03/progressive_quiz.html

The World’s Biggest Losers of the Week, according to Foreign Policy Magazine. Surprisingly, no Americans in the #1 spot this week. http://rothkopf.foreignpolicy.com/posts/2009/03/20/the_worlds_biggest_losers

A story about icanhascheezburger and Pet Holdings, the company that brings us Fail Blog and most of the random images I post from time to time. http://www.slate.com/id/2214241/pagenum/all/#p2

Now HERE’s an abortion story that screams “We’ve officially arrived in the 21^st Century.” http://www.slate.com/id/2214057/

No, BAD ELEPHANT!!!!http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/earthpicturegalleries/5023005/Animal-pictures-of-the-week-20-March-2009.html?image=11

-- There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs. http://kfmonkey.blogspot.com/2009/03/ephemera-2009-7.html

Latest and Greatest from Matt Taibbi. Disclaimer: I haven’t actually read it, it’s 8 freaking pages long. But at least it’s not about Thomas Friedman. http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/story/26793903/the_big_takeover

Arianna Huffington asks… WWJSD? Imagining Jon Stewart interviewing Dick Cheney… (sigh) http://www.huffingtonpost.com/arianna-huffington/what-if-jon-stewart-inste_b_175503.html

Your Own Ukrainian Jesus

Sorry, but the news keeps getting sillier and sillier.....

Hey, in case you missed it, coup in Madagascar and most of the world has severed diplomatic ties. The new leader, who is barely older than I am, and looks about 12, isn’t technically old enough to run the country. Do we even know that there are other countries? http://english.aljazeera.net/news/africa/2009/03/20093219502831389.html

Good story on the mechanics of the takeover. http://www.economist.com/world/mideast-africa/displayStory.cfm?story_id=13331251&source=hptextfeature

Read the comments – they are all from angry Americans taking the side of Iran. Only on Al Jazeera. http://english.aljazeera.net/news/americas/2009/03/200932184033678481.html

UN special rapporteur proclaims Israeli offensive into Gaza violated international human rights statutes. http://english.aljazeera.net/news/middleeast/2009/03/200932035423101519.html

The interesting part of this story (that I’ve seen on other non-Arab web sites) is that Israeli military have apparently admitted to war crimes during that offensive to the Israeli government, who is now trying to do a REALLY quick investigation to cover their butts and see how widespread the damage might be. Nothing will be done by the UN because of the US veto power, which we have used primarily to protect Israeli interests, as outlined by the Jewish lobby in the United States. Many actual Israelis would and have argued that the US insistence on protecting Israel from itself only exacerbates the problem. I would agree as:

1. Our paternalistic interventions prohibit Israel from ever really having to take responsibility for their own actions, which perpetuate the cycle of irresponsible governance in Israel.

2. It feeds anti-Israeli and anti-American sentiment among Israel’s neighbors. Israel becomes the favorite child that everyone else resents because they get away with everything.

3. When no one else in the region feels that they can get justice, people resort to violence and terrorism. Revenge becomes its own form of justice.

4. Israel reacts to the terrorism with more violence, resulting in more terrorism.

Much like the earlier question posed on African aid, when does our assistance become interference, and when does trying to help become making things worse? Unfortunately, in the US, the Jewish lobby is so powerful that you cannot even debate these topics in a public forum if you want to hold any position of leadership. We really need to grow up before we destroy the world with our “good intentions.”

The Roman Catholic Church of Satan. Pravda really needs to find some writers who have opinions…. http://english.pravda.ru/opinion/columnists/08-03-2009/107203-sataniccatholic-0

Did you know that Jesus and Buddha were Ukrainian? Seriously, I heart Pravda, this is comedy at its best. http://english.pravda.ru/society/stories/12-03-2009/107229-buddha_jesus_christ_ukraine-0

The News So Far

Okay, we’ve even gotten the attention of the BBC. Are you happy now, Sheriff Joe? Can you just STFU already now? God, I hate this guy. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7950220.stm

Here’s what I don’t get. He lets thousands of warrants go unserved because he’s busy with his publicity stunts, reality shows, and posse runs of pulling people over for the heinous crime of driving while brown. He’s wasted millions in taxpayer dollars through his financial malfeasance, failing to keep his facilities up to code, wrecking vehicles, and failing to keep his inmates from being abused and killed by his personnel. Tent Cities, Chain Gangs, Green Bologna, and Pink Underwear do not make up for being a lousy excuse for a Republican elected official. Why haven’t the fiscal conservatives gotten all outraged over this yet? Or have they sold their souls to the Illegal Immigration Kool-Aid Flavor of the Month club? Where’s Barry Goldwater when you need him?

The $165 million question: http://www.dailyexpress.co.uk/posts/view/90210/Why-can-t-my-dwarf-rabbit-stop-sneezing-

Oh wow, I’m so shocked, the Vatican is contemplating a boycott of the prequel to The DaVinci Code. Because Angels and Demons is SO pro-Catholic. You want people to not see it? Remind them that it’s directed by Opie. http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090321/film_nm/us_vatican_1

I can’t get blogger to link this right, but it’s funny if you’re from the greater Michigan area. http://news.yahoo.com/comics/uclickcomics/20090321/cx_crbc_uc/crbc20090321

Fun little piece on Craig Ferguson. It’s you, you’re Scottish!! (And if you don’t know why that is funny, go rent Saving Grace NOW!!!!!!) http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29773198/

Alternative fans… little blurb on Jane’s Addiction’s reunion at SXSW. (Yeah, all four of them, believe it or not.) http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29773198/ Trent’s released a sampler for the upcoming NIN/JA tour of some Nine Inch Nails, some Jane’s Addiction, and some Street Sweeper, you can get that EP for free at http://www.ninja2009.com/.

Now here’s a quandary for you. Does all the attention and aid for Africa help or hinder the development of the African people? One Zambian claims it doesn’t, and she wants Bono and the rest of the world to butt out. Responsible charity: the moral dilemma of the day. http://www.newsweek.com/id/190375

Finally, someone who understands that sex education isn’t just about abstinence or one day about condoms and statistics. http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1886558,00.html

YES!!!!!! Ian McKellan will be back as Gandalf. My world is now complete! http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1886459,00.html

And this is why we don't smoke

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Life, Pizza, Ninjas, and News

Happy Wednesday. Hope everyone survived the great Festival of Drinking Yourself Drunk on Cheap, Artificially Colored Beer known as St. Patrick’s Day. Amazing how we manage to cheapen cultures from around the world as an excuse to gorge, debauch, and intoxicate ourselves into ridiculousness at every chance we get. I think I may be getting a touch cynical in my old age.

I was not a participant in this year’s Irish festivities, being generally too freaking tired to care. Things are a bit hectic at work, and having been at it until after midnight Monday night, there is simply no energy for revelry this week. Tonight featured training on various international accounting standards with our friends in Singapore in anticipation of this year’s upcoming audit, just what everyone wants to spend their evening doing. Asian accents are lots of fun with bad computer connections, especially discussing fair market valuations of liabilities on your financial statements. At least I think that’s what he said. He may have ordered a pizza from Kim Jong Il’s new restaurant, I really have no idea. Does Pyongyang deliver to Singapore?

Totally different topic, I get to spend my mom’s birthday this year at the NIN/JA show!!! (This year is really all about the ninjas, and what sounds they make.) Mum helped me out with those darn internet presales, with which we had NO luck last time, and got me tickets to the upcoming Nine Inch Nails/Jane’s Addiction show in May, which has just added Street Sweeper as a third act. (Apparently, Tom Morello has gotten temporarily over the whole acoustic folk Nightwatchman thing and has teamed up with The Coup’s Boots Riley for this new rapcore gig. I’m not really familiar with The Coup, and there’s no Street music available yet, but it ought to be interesting… probably a lot closer to RATM, but that’s cool. I like Rage, even if Zack was a little WHOA sometimes.) So I’ll report back, but until then, I’m guessing that Ninjas, despite what Emma thinks, do make sounds, and they sound a lot like wailing guitars, grunting 40something year old men, and something about fucking like animals. But I’m not going to tell her that.

And now, for the news….

Shower Nozzle Alert!!!! “Seriously, your honor, how can ANY woman in this day and age get by on only $53k a week? That’s just SO last century…..” (Not an actual quote, but pretty damn close.) http://www.azcentral.com/business/consumer/articles/2009/03/18/20090318biz-ExpensiveDivorce0318.html

Whoa. This would have HUGE implications for the entire industry. (For the like three of you that this means anything to.) http://www.azcentral.com/business/articles/2009/03/18/20090318biz-IBMSunTalks0318.html

Ew. http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/2009/03/18/20090318dogODD-CR.html

Bullet dodged. This would have gotten REALLY freaking ugly had Obama not abandoned this idea. Honorary Shower Nozzle to Obama for having even proposed it, though. Idiot. http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2009/03/18/20090318veterans-treatment18-ON.html

In the immortal words of Comedy Corner… “Crash, Into Trees…” When will Hollywood Celebrities learn that skiing is dangerous? It’s bad, mmmkay? Still, condolences to all 97 of her family that are still in the industry, including Mr. Jedi Master. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7949195.stm

And now, monkeys with weapons. Good thing Charleton Heston is already dead, this could have gotten very ugly. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7946614.stm

Um, yeah, please give us your money back, because we look like complete douchenozzles and the entire world hates us and we’re getting death threats and stuff. AIG, we know money. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/7950452.stm

They always go after the accountant… but then, the accountant ALWAYS knows what’s going on, and don’t ever let them tell you differently. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/7951005.stm

TMZ hits the Beltway. To paraphrase… Just like the Battle of Stalingrad, you kind of want them both to lose. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/03/18/AR2009031803001.html?hpid=topnews

Rolling Stone’s 100 Agents of Change in America. Bet you can’t guess who #1 is. http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/26754176/the_rs_100_agents_of_change

This is kinda nifty. http://lifehacker.com/5174138/worldwide-telescope-puts-the-night-sky-in-your-browser

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Now playing: Nine Inch Nails - Closer
via FoxyTunes

Random Funny Roundup

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Happy Shamrock Day

News Roundup... Haven't gotten to the blogs as of yet tonight, and probably won't as I'm awfully tired and had a horrid icky day. But here's the news that someone out there saw fit to post.

Dahlia Lithwick smacks down Meghan McCain and Laura Ingraham (but mostly Ms. McCain) on the whole “Body Image Controversy” thing. Includes links in case you’ve missed the debacle to date. Dahlia is my hero. http://www.slate.com/id/2213992/

Ron Paul gets punked. But at least it seems he may have a sense of humor about it in the end. Not sure I really want to see the movie though…. (Warning, contains spoilers.) http://slate.com/id/2213882/

Okay, I know it’s cliché, but WWJD? Seriously. Bad Christians!!! http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1885983,00.html

WORST… INTERVIEW… EVER… http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2009/04/wayne-maddow200904

Deepak gives us permission to be angry. It is moral and good to be angry. Thank you Deepak. http://newsweek.washingtonpost.com/onfaith/panelists/deepak_chopra/2009/03/what_to_do_about_mad_as_hell.html

This from a man who wears a tent. Seriously, please move beyond the Dark Ages and join the rest of us in this Millennium. I’m sure God will understand. http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/world-news/pope-condoms-make-aids-worse-14231246.html

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Now playing: Flogging Molly - Drunken Lullabies
via FoxyTunes

Update -- Las Vegas Style

So, I was off for a few days there. Nicole had to go to a seminar/training for the new security features in Timberline 3.5 in Last Vegas. (Which is kind of fun, because they just released 3.6, but whatever.) And because I'm such a good friend and so dedicated to systems security (uh-huh) I went along with her.

With my former employer Bechtel picking up the tab (thanks Riley), we drove up Wednesday after work. Fun with the mp3 players and Nicole's bladder of doom ensued. (I love Nicole, I really, really do. She just has a bladder the size of a lima bean. But that's okay because she drove almost the entire trip.) I always recommend going over Hoover Dam as late in the evening as possible to avoid traffic, and because it's really pretty with the lights and stuff. (Although it makes the Transformers jokes a little less relevant, especially when the other peeps in the car haven't seen Transformers. Oh no, Megatron's about to find the All-Spark!!! Yeah, that part of the movie takes place in the daytime.)

We stayed at the Luxor, which was fun. I've always wanted to stay in the pyramid, which was the original intention, but we got a free upgrade to the bigger tower rooms. Twist, twist, ow, ow, okay. Very nice bathroom, wonderful bathtub, beds were crap. View was crap. Oh well, you do not go to Vegas for the view from your hotel room. Kind of freaky though... Carrot Top is now doing a show at Luxor - a REALLY scary picture of him adorns too many spaces at the Luxor. He looks like a really demented Ronald McDonald on acid. It's scary. Small children may be scarred for life if they see that. I mean really, it's BAD. Rush Limbaugh bad.

Vegas keeps getting more and more expensive every time I go. I'm going to have to find me a sugar daddy to pay for all of my excursions. We didn't do much in the way of paid entertainment... we ate, we gambled a bit (the monopoly games have become bastards), and we wandered. And we wandered. And we wandered. I stopped walking much some years ago after my hips and knees got all cranky and arthritic and started grinding on me, so walking from the Luxor to and around Mandalay Bay back to Luxor down to New York across to MGM Grand up all four floors of the M&M store across to the CVS Pharmacy into Caesars Forum Shops over to Belagio into the flower gardens down all the way to Treasure Island and back to the Mirage has left me a bit the worse for wear. I'm still a bit gimpy, actually. Moral of the story... Dr. Scholls is our friend. As are taxi cabs.

On the way back saw the dam (and the bypass bridge project) in broad daylight. (Mr. President, can we have some stimulus over here please?) I swear, that thing will never get done. And home again home again jiggity jog. So that's my story and I'm sticking to it. But what happens in Vegas does not stay in Vegas, or I would have been able to walk this weekend. So with that in mind....

Hey Nicole, you wanna go party with Rob and shit?

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Now playing: Elvis Presley - Viva Las Vegas
via FoxyTunes

Socialism

“Obama’s No Socialist!!!” screams bemused socialists…. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/03/13/AR2009031301899.html?hpid=opinionsbox1

Dilbert

It has no ovaries....

What's With the Underwear Today?

Did I miss a memo?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7932870.stm

http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/03/09/us.navy.china/index.html

Mafia Wars, the Official Procrastination Tool of NASCAR

Dedicated to the Other Busch brother, now the Official Cheese Spread of NASCAR.

I really don’t like Mother Jones’ new format, but they do occasionally have good stuff. This is an interesting quandary into the future of sustainable agriculture… and they say “poop miles.” http://www.motherjones.com/environment/2009/02/spoiled-organic-and-local-so-2008

A criticism on the palm oil biofuel industry… http://www.motherjones.com/environment/2009/03/why-biofuels-are-rainforests-worst-enemy

Yeah, and notice that all the scripture quotes are from everyone’s favorite raging misogynist, Paul. None of this was in the red letters, folks. WWJD? http://www.motherjones.com/media/2009/03/books-purpose-driven-wife

Yup. And I’m tired of that “decisions should be made by a patient and their doctor, not a government bureaucrat” line. Cause, um, right now, they’re made by the insurance companies. In case the dolts over at the RNC Talking Point Generator missed it. http://www.salon.com/opinion/conason/2009/03/09/healthcare/

Yes, President Obama? This is the British Conservative Party, explaining to you how we deal with allegations of War Crimes. Please take notes. There will be a test. http://www.salon.com/opinion/greenwald/2009/03/08/mohamed/

“One characteristic of cults is that they strongly believe they alone are right in their beliefs and everyone else is wrong.” Um, do you want to tell him, or should I? http://www.kansascity.com/238/story/1065619.html

That’s it, man, fuck the system. http://hamptonroads.com.nyud.net/2009/03/virginia-man-pays-his-350-electric-bill-pennies

How about cause it’s easier than thinking of something original to say? What, is it a slow news day at CNN or something? http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Movies/03/09/film.quotes/index.html

Oy… well, that’s news from the last 24 hours. At least for that roundup of sites. Bathtime!!!!

And, I’m now playing Mafia Wars on Facebook (gee, thanks Nicole!) So if you’re on, let me know and join my Mafia!!

Insanity at the National Review

The 50 Most Conservative Rock Songs, According to the National Review Online:

http://article.nationalreview.com/?q=NzZkNDU5MmViNzVjNzkzMDE3NzNlN2MyZjRjYTk4YjE=

Jon Swift’s Send Up of this Article:

http://jonswift.blogspot.com/2006/05/50-more-conservative-rock-songs.html

Even worse, the 25 Most Conservative Films, also courtesy of our friends at the NRO. Fortunately, I haven’t seen a lot of these.

http://nrd.nationalreview.com/article/?q=YWQ4MDlhMWRkZDQ5YmViMDM1Yzc0MTE3ZTllY2E3MGM=

Jon’s Mockery of this Debacle:

http://jonswift.blogspot.com/2009/03/10-best-conservative-movies.html

Satire… the only way to deal with the National Review Online.

Keppler and Other News Roundup

May post more tomorrow, but must go bed....

Seriously?!?!?!?!? The kid is five years old, WTF????? http://www.wftv.com/news/18864517/detail.html#-

Musicians have egos? Never. (Complete with “No, I wouldn’t shag her” picture of Courtney Love) http://www.spinner.com/2008/10/07/shockingly-cocky-quotes-no-21/

Interesting interview with Christopher Guest. http://www.spinner.com/2009/03/04/christopher-guest-taps-into-serious-musicianship-with-beyman-b/

A conservative viewpoint on why Rush Limbaugh’s regime is bad for the Republican Party and the Conservative Movement (and thus, the country… the last part depends on whether or not you lean conservative, of course.) http://www.newsweek.com/id/188279

Watch out world, here comes Brazil…. http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1883301,00.html

Ah, so THIS is why we invaded Iraq… I knew there had to be a good reason. Gotta keep the supply side well stocked…. http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1883696,00.html

You are SO doing it wrong, lady. http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1883700,00.html

Okay, seriously. Even The Economist is arguing for legalization and ending the “War on Drugs.” And they’re conservatives. Buy a clue. Or at least a vowel. Come on, people!!! http://www.economist.com/opinion/displayStory.cfm?story_id=13237193&source=hptextfeature

Methinks Matt has issues…. But he does vivid imagery well. A little too well, actually. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/matt-taibbi/erica-jong-thinks-i-want_b_96169.html

Johann blogs from not long after the launch of Keppler, which he and Gil witnessed in person. (Complete with pics.) Gil worked long and hard on this project, so kudos for seeing it finally getting into space. SO jealous the two of them were there to see it go up. http://johncbarentine.com/blogs/

Belgium!!!!! (Hey, Watch Your Language!!!)

Cheezburger Network Roundup

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But, my stimulus check came in goats!!!



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But Christians are ooky!!!