Plus one...

Funny Roundup -- Sick Day 4/27/2009

Plants are human too, you know... wait....


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Kinky....


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You mean water, like from a toilet?


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I have no idea what this says, but this is funny....


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Ah... nature humor...


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Yup... cats and nature don't go together....


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Not all cats are cute....


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Yes, cats are always plotting murder. Remember that.


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Whole new meaning to sleeping with the fishes....


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No comment needed.


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Dedicated to Blind Dog... (now I've got that song in my head!!!)


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Ah... The Who....


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Tax Humor!!!


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Follow Up

Okay, so I'm lying in my bathtub pondering... like I do. And it occurs to me... what is "traditional marriage" anyway? For most of the last several hundred years, marriage involved the wife becoming the property of the husband. She had no rights in the marriage. If the husband predeceased his wife, she became the property of the eldest son. She could not inherit property. She went from being the property of one man to another until all the men were dead and she became destitute. Marriage was a method of transferring ownership of women from one man to another. It was controlled by the church, but until recent centuries the church was the state.

Today, marriage is different, in some places anyway (don't get me started on Sharia). A few decades ago, women came to the realization that they were human beings and started demanding rights. Now, they can inherit property. They are not married off at the earliest possible breeding age to the highest bidder - they can select their own breeding stock, or choose not to breed at all. They can decide to walk away from a marriage. Marriage is now more than a transfer of ownership of a woman from her father to another man - it is essentially a business partnership; an agreement between two people to become one legal entity in exchange for certain benefits from the state. These benefits include, but are not limited to: joint health care coverage, tax benefits, inheritance rights, joint ownership of assets, visitation rights, etc. And since church and state are separate entities, this contract does not need to be ratified by the church. A church may perform its own ceremony, and that ceremony does not need to be ratified by the state. The contracts are already, for all intents and purposes, two separate things.

Because we are already far removed from what the "traditional" notion of marriage has been for all of these thousands of years, it seems illogical, if not downright contradictory, to try to hold on to the only tiny shred of definition that "traditional" marriage may still hold at this stage. The only reason to do so is to withhold rights from people whose lifestyles you do not agree with. Now, you may do that in your church ceremonies, but the Equal Protection Clause of the US Constitution does not allow the state to do that in the framework of our laws. If a contract is offered to two consenting adults that gives them benefits, and the only reason to deny those benefits is your belief system, that is discrimination.

We have already thrown off the shackles of all of the other ridiculous notions associated with "traditional" marriage - arranged marriages, dowries, marrying off thirteen year-olds, forced submission of women, racial purity... why hang on to this last atrocity?

Good night and good luck.

Manifesto: Gay Marriage

My Manifesto

I do not subscribe to any particular doctrine, religion, political party, or other organized collection of viewpoints. I have views on a variety of subjects that I have come to believe based on my own experiences. These views are subject to change based on new experiences, research, or information. I tend to be called “progressive” or “liberal” based on many of these views, but hey… labels are just ways to pigeonhole people. I will post these views as I have time in case anyone gives a rat’s patootie.

Marriage: there are two different kinds of marriage. One is what happens in the church, and the church decides who it will marry. The Catholic church has rules about non-Catholics and divorcees, for example. No church should be required to relax those rules to accommodate people that do not conform to their beliefs. No church should be required to change their teachings to condone behavior that they believe is immoral. You can do whatever you want in your church, that’s the beauty of the separation of church and state; the state cannot govern the church.

The other is the legal contract granted by the state, and the state (which is governed by the Constitution) has an obligation to provide equal protection to all. Equal protection means that if a two-person contract granting property sharing rights can be given to a man and a woman, that two-person contract should be granted to two men or to two women. The rules currently provide for two consenting adults, and you cannot discriminate on gender or sexual preference. You also cannot discriminate based on one group’s view of morality, even if that group is the majority. That’s the other beauty of the separation of church and state; the church cannot govern the state.

From another purely constitutional perspective, once one state permitted equal marriage, a whole can of Constitutional worms was opened. We have a whole slew of federal and state issues as long as the laws vary from state to state, and marriages performed in one state are considered invalid in another. From a purely practical perspective, it is time to standardize the laws and accept the inevitable.

From a personal perspective, I have never seen a logical or reasonable argument that allowing homosexuals the right to marry would present a material risk to society. Every study that I have ever seen that argued that children were better off with one male and one female parent always included single parents in the study. The only individual cases I have ever seen where children were “harmed” in gay relationships were when one parent were carried off into an ultra-religious fervor and convinced that homosexuality was some horrible sin. I know a lot of people that were raised by one or more gay parents (including myself), and we are no more screwed up than those raised by straight people. We may be a little more tolerant in some cases, but that goes with the territory. Gay people are just as capable of long-term, committed, and loving relationships as everyone else, despite the stereotypes. They are often just as religious, once they find a community that doesn’t tell them that they’re going straight to hell, and often very moral.

Some people will say that marriage was meant to be one man and one woman. They’ll say that’s what is in the Bible, or that’s “Traditional Marriage.” I say look around the world at ALL of the traditions, not just the modern Judeo-Christian ethics of the last 3000 or so years. Our country was founded on the concepts of equality, freedom, and justice for all, even if we have never gotten around to practicing it. You may believe that your God wants your “traditional marriage” but I believe that the Jesus portrayed in the Bible would preach tolerance and love. He also knew the separation between the state and the church (remember that whole “render unto Caesar” bit?) I also believe that if God is really all-powerful, allowing people the right to enjoy the same freedom and happiness that you have is not going to hurt him in any way. Do you really, really believe it’s going to hurt you?

If so, tell me how at mutantkat@yahoo.com. Only through logical and reasonable discourse can we ever get through the hateful rhetoric on both sides and reach a consensus that will resolve this issue once and for all.

April 16, Post-Teabag Funnies

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Teabagasms for Everyone

So, tax day came and went. Celebrations in the form of teabag parties were held across the country. Chad, wherever he is, was smiling down upon the idiots and doing obscene things to them with his ghostly apparition genitalia.

Will make a concerted effort to get news, comics, and the fun and excitement of the world up and going again here. I've been busy sleeping, working, and Twittering my life away.

Just realized that there is now a Monetize tab on Blogger. Oh, the humanity.

AMEN!!!!!!

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Mini-Roundup

Dude, lighten up. Gay elephants have feelings too. I would make a really bad joke about Congressional Republicans here, but I’ll let it go. http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090410/od_nm/us_elephant_1

Okay, people, seriously. Get the ninjas. Duh!!! http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7994980.stm

Would YOU trust this woman to teach your children about Jesus? Yeah, me neither…. http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/04/11/california.girl.arrest/index.html

Hehehehe. Funny. http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1890174,00.html

The Truth

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Latest News Roundup

Apparently, English being such an incredibly stupid and complicated language and the fucked up economy were likely factors in yesterday’s mass lunatic shooting binge in New York. Because, you know, people haven’t been struggling with the English language for centuries. And only immigrants are getting laid off. I loved Karen’s reaction to this. “It’s too easy for people to get guns in this country. Everyone can get guns. I mean we have a gun, but we don’t have any bullets.” (Only imagine that with a Chinese accent.) Yeah. http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090404/ts_nm/us_newyork_shooting_13

If you haven’t checked it out yet, this site is just disturbing. But in a fun way. http://pictureisunrelated.com/

OW! http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/2009/04/03/20090403ODDnail-cough0403-ON.html

Okay, all you ultra right-wing media nut jobs, would you QUIT lying about how the Obama administration is going to take away everyone’s guns now? People are DYING out there because of your paranoia, idiocy, and deceit!!!! http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30043893

Wow, someone has finally figured out that America’s salvation will not come through Christianity alone. And Christianity’s salvation will not come through the Republican party alone. Maybe we can all act like grownups now and try to get something accomplished, regardless of political or religious affiliation? http://www.newsweek.com/id/192583

What do we really know? What if what we think we know is wrong? http://www.newsweek.com/id/192465

Cheezburger Network Roundup for April 4

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Yesterday's News, Because I'm Slow Like That

So I was working on this when I had to go have dinner with Nicole and hang with the girls, and then I came home and passed out... so here's this. Today's to follow later.

Madonna gets a news flash: we already have one Angelina Jolie, we don’t need another one. Ah, life after A-Rod loses its luster. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090403/ap_en_ce/af_malawi_madonna_adoption_22

New Rules for the NFL: no matter how good of a player you are, you shoot yourself in the leg, that’s a firing. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090403/ap_on_sp_fo_ne/fbn_giants_burress_8

And THAT’S what you get for trading my grandmother’s favorite Chauncey Billups. She still hasn’t recovered from that, and then she went blind. And now the Pistons don’t even have Iverson. Bastridges. http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/news?slug=ap-pistons-iversonout&prov=ap&type=lgns

Why Obama is wrong about Afghanistan, from a liberal. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ucru/20090402/cm_ucru/afghandeathtrip

Hooray Iowa!!! Iowa is the new California. http://www.newsweek.com/id/192269